Five Perspectives of Living in Limbo that Will Lessen Your Angst During the Desert Times
The time sandwiches itself between now and then. Occurs between here and there. You move out of the past but not quite into the future. It seems to happen more often for leaders. Because, as a leader, you know much of life plays out between the times. Even though this time is called by various names: desert time, limbo, transition (William Bridges), being Stuck (Terry Walling), a wilderness experience or a time of silence; the characteristics are very similar. St. John of the Cross called these times of distance and isolation “the dark night of the soul.”
Leaders experience it. Other people probably do, too. This period of time undresses life as it was and refashions a new reality. It prepares you for the next chapter of the story of your life. One chapter ends, you turn the page (or someone or something else turns the page for you), and suddenly you find yourself in the in-between.
It happens that way with leaders. Great leaders through the ages entered and lived through the wilderness to achieve greater impact and influence.
Counted among them are:
- Jesus – spent forty days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-2)
- Paul – invested three years in Arabia before connecting with the brothers (Galatians 1:17)
- Moses – 40 years on the back side of the (here it is called wilderness) Acts 7:23, 30, 36
- Joseph – in prison for two years, after doing what he was supposed to do (Genesis 41:1)
- David – in the cave of Adullam (1 Samuel 22:1)
Even though great leaders experience these intense times of internal wrangling, they often take us by surprise. One day we feel in control of our lives and certain of our direction. Then, seemingly the next day, we lack certainty about where to go and how to get there. This internal stripping feels soul-searing. Unnerving and disorienting, transitions can induce spiritual vertigo where we doubt God’s existence, and maybe even our own.
Although this spiritual limbo is dizzying, these five perspectives can help you see the method in the apparent madness. As you probably know, these times can be quite terrible. But, we can find relief knowing they are also typical. The pain you feel is not without purpose. And, this pain is not unique to you. These perspectives help you get a handle on what is really happening. By understanding this developmental backdrop can help ease the agony, even while enduring the season.
Perspective #1: View it as a Solid Step in Your Future Direction
Importantly, this first important perspective deals with how we experience it. As long as you embrace this first perspective, it will reduce your anxiety in the midst of the dry time. Stated first, this perspective recognizes the anxiety that too often walks hand-in-hand with these in-between times. And, to make matters worse, anxiety stands as one of the biggest problems in transitions. So, here is a help: Don’t see the desert as a detour. You didn’t take a wrong turn, make a mistake or miscalculate. Even though you feel isolated and abandoned, you are trekking in the right direction. Because, the way forward begins by going deeper. And, that depth necessarily precedes your future potential. And, without this time of deepening, your trajectory as a leader will not go as far…or as high.
“There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
As an example, Jesus invested forty days in the wilderness. Alone. Devoid of food. He went willingly into the desert time. But, the kicker here is how he got there.
Desert time provides direction. So, don’t mistake it for a detour.
Matthew 4:1 tells us Jesus was “…led by the Spirit into the wilderness.” Obviously, this was not a misstep. The wilderness provides direction, not a detour. This time of silence did not take Him off His path. Neither does it take you off your path. Rather, this time of isolation is an important part of your development as a leader. And, since the Spirit directs it, these wilderness times are intentional and necessary. And, as we will see in Perspective #2, transition times also provide direction for you.
Perspective #2: Be Willing to Adjust Your Life’s Purpose and Direction
Furthermore, after not viewing the desert as a mistake, this second perspective deals with direction. As we go into a transition, we possess a certain understanding of our personal purpose. As we enter this time, we frequently take with us an overriding idea of why we are on the planet. And, this purpose includes who you are, what you do for a living, what you are good at doing and how life should go. You think you know where life is going. Conversely, transitions change all that. Transitions plunge that certainty into uncertainty.
Transitions happen so you will change your view of yourself and your world.
And, consequently, changing your view means changing you. If you want to get the full measure of meaning from the transition time, you must be open to adjusting any or all of what you do and who you are. Correspondingly, this is to say that to exclude any area of your life from inspection necessarily means a lessening of your future trajectory. To be sure, discounting or disallowing any particular area of your life means you will miss the full benefit of this in-between time.
Lean fully into the transition.
Consider the case of King David, before he was the king of Israel. Around the beginning of one of these transitions in his life, he acted like he was losing his mind (1 Samuel 21:13). Then, he feared and ran for his life into a cave…and smack dab into the time of transition.
Surprisingly, David went from pretending to be insane (1 Samuel 21:13) to hiding in a cave. So, it appears the cave time, the time of transition, went a step beyond looking like you are losing your mind. It certainly feels that way.
You clarify your purpose in the desert.
While he was there, in the cave, he wrote Psalm 57:2 “I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.”
So, even in the midst of the disorientation and confusion, David opened himself for God to change whatever needed to be changed, for David to fulfill God’s purpose. As we discover later, David did just that.
“For David, after serving God’s purpose in his own generation, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers, and decayed”
Acts 13:36, Christian Standard Bible (CSB)
As we see, David fulfilled his purpose in life by surrendering himself to God’s work during those tough, dark transitions of life. And, so it is for you. Your future purpose cannot happen without them. So, be open to changing yourself. Anything about you and the way you view reality. For me, it meant jettisoning the characteristic I most valued. Now, I could understand getting rid of something I know I should change. But, what rocked my world is to realize the thing I most valued needed to be changed. Yet, in retrospect, I see it needed to change for God to use me like He has.
What about you? What is the worst part of transitions for you? Please comment below, so we can learn together how to milk the most from these times of life.
And, coming next will be more perspectives on the desert times. They will help you traverse the transitions with a little less anxiety.
(Continue reading with Part 2 and Part 3.)
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